Forever And A Day
by xox Nicola xox
Summary: This is set after Bella has been changed. But she can't stop her mind from dwelling on the months go by. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

My mouth was dry and my heart beat so hard I thought it would burst from my chest. The moment had arrived. The moment I had been anticipating for so long. The moment that would change my life, or end my life, depending on which way you looked at it.

I was about to be changed into a vampire. I had no idea why I was so scared. It was what I wanted. It was what I needed. This is what it had all been building up to. Ever since the day I first set eyes on Edward Cullen. Ever since that day at Edwards house when his family had taken a vote on my mortality. Come to think of it, ever since that day in 1918 when Carlisle had made a drastic decision that would alter, not only Edwards life forever, but also mine, even though I hadn't been born for decades after.

This was where it would all either start, or finish, depending on Edwards self control. He could just as easily kill me, though I knew he never would. The last few months flashed by in my mind, as Edwards lips moved closer to me, I could feel  
his icy breath on my skin, causing millions of goose bumps to appear on my pale skin…

It had been an amazing few months. Ever since I had let Alice take control over the wedding, my life had been chaos. Although, I must admit, it was well organised chaos. Alice being able to see the future had its perks. Especially when it came to unreliable caterers and always booked out wedding venues.  
Thankfully, Alice had let me chose the most important things.

Like my bridesmaids for instance. I asked Alice to be my maid of honour and my other bridesmaids were Angela and Rosalie. The latter was chosen out of curtesy rather than anything else, although I felt Rosalie and I beginning to become closer ever since she had told me the story of how she had ended up being changed in to a vampire.

All three looked absolutely stunning, especially Rosalie, but that came as no surprise considering Rosalie was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman to ever set foot on this planet.

Alice had them wearing long, pink, sleeveless dresses with tiny delicate flowers embroidered at the very bottom. Very simple, but I loved it.  
My own dress was amazing. Alice had had it made my some rising designer whom I had never heard of. It was slightly old-fashioned but in an elegant way. Just like Edward.

Edward had asked his brother Emmet to be his best man and Carlisle and Jasper were his groomsmen. I must say, they all looked dashing in their sleek, over-priced, black tuxes. Like movie stars, only much more surreal.

We were having a hard time finding somewhere to hold the wedding, but then Edward had one of his genius ideas. So we had it in the meadow. Our meadow. Around 50 white chairs stood facing a large, over the top archway where Edward and I said our vows.

We had decided to write our own, and left out all that ''till death do us part'' stuff, because I wasn't sure if I would be able to control my laughter as we said it. Edward said I could explain that it had been an inside joke, but I reckoned that would make people think we were even weirder. Joking about death.

When Edward had slipped the wedding ring on, I felt like a million dollars. I looked up into his angels face and I could feel the colour rushing to my cheeks as he lent forward to press his lips to mine. It was amazing as always and I think I may have stopped breathing. I saw my mom crying and as I stole a glance at Charlie, I realised, with a certain amount of shock that he was grinning from ear to ear.

I was ecstatic to see that my plan to leave on good terms with my friends and family, had work out. It was hard to believe that it was goodbye for eternity. Forever and a day.

I was brought back to the present just then. Edwards's lips were at my ear. I was fully aware of the tension in the room, and the electricity that always seemed to exist between my body and Edwards. ''are you sure you want to do this?'' he whispered softly in my ear ''yes'' was all I could choke out. My throat felt like it was closing up. It was becoming a challenge to breathe. Just then, I felt his knife like teeth bore into my skin. There was no turning back now…


	2. Chapter 2

Finally the smoke cleared and I could see that the fire that had been burning inside my head for the last few weeks, days, hours, may only have been minutes, was gone. The cloud that had been threatening my existence was gone. Although the pain, that I should have felt, that wasn't gone because it had never appeared. The pain, which I had been dreading for so long, the pain, which everyone had told me to expect, the pain which I never felt

.  
Everyone found it very hard to comprehend but me. I had always known there was a special connection between Edward and I. Perhaps now, we know the reason. I think that is was so, when I did become a vampire, which I feel had been inevitable since the beginning of this world, that me not being in pain, would make it more bearable for Edward to handle the fact that he may just have sucked out my soul, literally.

Although I may not have felt the pain, I most certainly did feel the thirst. It was worse than I could ever have dreamed. It completely took control of me. I cannot remember my first few weeks as a vampire all that well. All I can remember is that burning, uncontrollable desire to kill. To kill anyone and everyone possible. I found myself thinking only of blood, and for once, Edward rarely crossed my mind.

Though he was there, every second of every day. He was amazing, but that does not surprise me. He knew that I never wanted to hurt even one person, and he kept his promise not to let me do anything I would regret. I'm glad time doesn't mean much to vampires, because the Cullen's never once complained about the slow rate at which I adapted to the their world.

It took about two months before glimpses of the old Bella began to show. The Bella that Edward had fallen in love with, the Bella that I would be for eternity. Infinity plus four.  
Me not feeling any pain isn't the strangest thing about this whole situation though. When I stopped screaming from all the pain, and actually had time to think about anything except for the words that I roared, Edward looked at me with the most confused face I have ever seen on him.

''What's going on Edward?'' I quizzed, scared of hearing the response.

''Bella…how could you ever think I would not like you now that you're a vampire?'' he sounded appalled.

''What? Edward, I haven't said that in months, I thought we agreed that would never happen?'' I answered as steady as I could, though in my head, all I could hear was my mind contradicting every word I stuttered over.

''Yes Bella, but you just thought it, just then'' He tried to make it sound like a matter of fact but he was too astounded for it to work.

''You can hear me? What? Since when?'' I tried to tell myself it wasn't possible but there was no other explanation as to how he had known my thoughts. Was I dreaming again? That seemed the only logical thing at that moment in time. My dreams always liked to mess with my head, confuse me into a state of total disbelief.

'' Well, I guess since you have been turned into a vampire, but you just haven't been thinking anything that you weren't saying so I just never segregated the two.'' He seemed quite confident with his answer, but he'd had too long practising his poker face for me to be fully convinced.

'' But why now? It doesn't make any sense. All along, I've been the only one you couldn't penetrate. I don't understand. Has your power gotten stronger? Have I gotten weaker?'' This was too much to take in, I thought Edward said vampires could handle having loads of things on their minds, apparently not this vampire.

'' I honestly don't have an answer Bella. I wish I did, I'm just as stumped as you are'' This, I was sure he meant. He really did looked confused, he reminded me of the face Charlie had on him when I told him Edward and I were going to get married. Did all men act this way to new discoveries? If so, I really have no idea how men led the age of exploration. It really seemed to be bothering Edward that he didn't know what was going on. Which would have, I suppose, been understandable if it was with anyone else but me, but Edward should be used to not knowing what was going on when he was with me, I almost always edited my thoughts, but this, this was insane. He almost looked angry.

'' Edward, what's wrong? I know it's strange but it's not that big a deal. Please Edward, talk to me'' I tried to keep the pleading tone out of my voice, but to no avail.

'' I know you've always been grateful I couldn't listen to your thoughts. I like it for me, but not for you. I'm afraid you're going to feel awkward when you're around me. I'm not so sure I could handle that'' He was in serious danger of rambling, and he knew it.

''Oh please, how could I ever feel awkward around you? It's when I'm not around you that I feel awkward, this is going to be different, sure, but it's nothing to get worked up about. I'm just going to have to get over it.'' That all made perfect sense to me, so then why did he still have that tortured expression glued across his angel's face? It broke my heart to look at it, yet it broke my heart to look away. Was this the way it was going to be forever? Stuck being upset yet happy all at the same time? Sometimes I hated how much control his face had over me, yet I wouldn't change it for the world, not for the whole universe.

'' Don't you see Bella? You're always going to be wary of your thoughts around me, I don't want to have to sensor your own mind, it just not fair. If only I had the power to change this. I'd do whatever it takes. I know there is no way you are truly happy with this sudden turn of events. For god's sake Bella, even now, you're blocking your thoughts from me. So you can't argue with my point.'' His intelligence was indescribable as he said this, something that never ceases to amaze me. I randomly wondered why I never got this intelligence, I guess my brain just didn't possess the ability in its human form, maybe this was one of the traits which I carried forward to my vampire life, my stupidity perhaps it could be called.

'' I guess its just force of habit. I got into the habit of not dwelling on my thoughts too much when…'' I trailed off there as the agony spread slowly across Edwards face. This was always the part I hated, its just not right for someone as beautiful as him to be in pain. Something I would give my soul to stop.

'' I really will never let myself get over what I did to you. Not even now, when I can't hurt you anymore, not even now, though you're a million times stronger than me, on the inside and the outside. You're perfect.'' A wide grin crept across his face as he said that, the beauty of his eyes penetrating my heart so deeply that it would have stopped, if it had been beating.

'' I love you'' It was all that seemed appropriate at the time. I could have gone on for hours telling him how he was wrong, but it would have been worthless, he wasn't ready to listen. Not just yet. Maybe someday though, after all, we do have all the time in the world. Literally.

''I love you more, Bella. That's why I need to know you are happy. I will try of course, to block your thoughts, but you know as well as I do, you're pretty stubborn.'' He laughed deep within his chest as he said that which made me giggle a little, and then he learned forward a kissed me before I had a chance to say ''No, I love you more''.

''Welcome to my world'' He whispered delicately in my ear. I like this world already.


End file.
